Sunday, June 27, 2010


This afternoon I returned to Second Life and met my friends c and p at Sir R's place. We chatted some, and p showed a large egg, which hatched into a huge bird able to fly on its own, follow or to ride upon. I just couldn't resist it but had to go and get one when p gave me a landmark for where she got it.

I found the freebie egg easy enough and then I discovered that c and p had followed. p new the sim some, and besides the creatures that could be bought there, it also held a BDSM playground. p and I explored it, trying out some of the items, while c kept more in the background. I discovered it was a bad idea trying out things like that though, getting me all frustrated.

I needed to leave for real life for a while, and when I came back I discovered c had joined with my friend z, and I was invited to c's place, where the three of us sat chatting mainly about real-life issues. When z needed to leave for real life after a while, c and I continued chatting some more.

Before going away from keyboard for real-life sleep, I visited my guardian M's institute to collect some information I needed for the blog I manage for him about the institute. I then went back to my usual place at one of M's installation before signing off, not being needed at Mistress W's place any longer since the lag issue there seems to be solved now.

I also once more was reminded that I should be careful with what I reveal about myself. Even when you do it to people you really trust, it's usually only a matter of time before it will be used against you. I wonder why I always have to be so naive and open up to people when I know the end result always will be I will be hurt from it. Especially when it comes from people you really believed were your friends and could trust with anything, it hurts so bad it makes you wonder why you ever bother trying to be a friend at all.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Magic Wand

I haven't been in Second Life today, but my guardian M texted me real-life and told me the lag problems at Mistress W's place seemed mainly gone but that I seemed to have gotten moved to a non-existing place and then crashed when he tried to message me in Second Life. I guess I will see when I enter Second Life next time how messed up I will be.

So obviously that magic wand I commented upon in my last blog entry does exist sometimes. I just wonder if it could be brought out to bring me a good dom/me as well. Maybe I should try to file a jira, an abuse report or a support ticket about the lack of good dom/mes to Linden Labs. And start believing in Santa Claus and fairies as well

Friday, June 25, 2010


When I returned to Mistress W's place this morning and found it empty save for my guardian M and his land manager who were there to fight the lag but away from keyboard.

I guess the lag fighting deserves explaining a bit better. A small landowner in the same sim as Mistress W has set up a "fuck club" with zillions of bad vendor machines and poseballs which cause immense lag when interacted with. On top of that the theme of free sex and fuck attracts a lot of newcomers and desperates who add to the lag with freebie sex toys and also fills the sim so no one else can get in. So the idea is that by seeing to that the available slot for visitors to the sim are not all filled up by visitors to the club, the lag can be reduced by less interaction and in the long run maybe also make the club owner shut down or move because he doesn't get enough visitors to make it worth while.

In parallel, Mistress W and several of the other residents in the sim plus my guardian M have been posting abuse reports to Linden Labs about the situation in the sim and the overuse of resources by the club making the sim unusable for anyone else. No one seems to believe those abuse reports will make any difference though.

I have been neglecting my job in Second Life a lot lately because I've spent as much time as possible fighting lag for Mistress W, but this morning I sneaked off to my job to at least put in a couple of hours there, helped in my decision by some company I didn't appreciate coming my way at Mistress W's place. I bumped into my new CEO at work and managed to help her with a little issue with her cuffs that had been locked in a bad way by her Master. We chatted a little about various things as well since the traffic was low and not many needing my assistance as a guide there.

My CEO had just left when Miss t dropped by to my big surprise. She came to shop to ease her depression after being told by Mistress W she intends to close her place down unless something happens with the lag issue. I messaged Mistress W right away trying to persuade her not to go through with her plans on shutting down the sim. Meanwhile, my employer Mistress I showed up, and I decided in desperation to try and ask her about what could be done about the situation in Mistress W's sim, since she is a big landowner herself and seems very adept in handling various problems.

Mistress I was very helpful and spent quite some time explaining various possibilities to me, some of which I forwarded to Mistress W. She couldn't offer any fail-safe solution though. After she had to leave for her real-life work, I decided to head back for Mistress W's place but make a short stop at Sir R's place on the way.

There I ran into my friends Miss t, m and Sir N again. Miss t was just off to bed but I at least managed to steal a hug from her before she left, and I also got hugs from m and Sir N. We just chatted briefly before m had to leave as well and I continued back to Mistress W's place. During my teleport there I suffered a crash that left me without any attachments when I managed to return to Second Life, and it took me half an hour in the lag to get straightened out again, so I could resume my entertainment there while heading for real-life.

Looking back, I feel disappointed and frustrated at how things are going at Mistress W. I have been doing the best I can with my limited knowledge and resources to help fight the lag there, inviting friends to lag hell and keeping them there, taking up time from friends asking for advice and help, neglecting both my job and some obligations I have as a friend to others, just to be at Mistress W's place as much as possible.

To see Mistress W and the others in the sim, who should really be engaged because it's their places, just fold and leave the sim, both temporary now because it's too inconvenient with the lag if they want to play, and permanently if no one comes along with a magic wand and solve their problems without them having to work much for it, makes me feel sad, disappointed, angry, furious, not about the lag but about those people.

Sure, I was never asked to be there and help against the lag, but for me it was the natural thing, the only thing, I could do when I saw friends in distress that I thought I could help. But seeing them fold without even putting up a real fight, seemingly without caring much about it even, makes it very hard for me to go on either. I don't know why I should keep fighting for something I'm not even part of when those who are don't seem to care enough to do it.

I will leave my avatar to fight the lag over the weekend, but then I'll go back to using my time for better things than battles already given up, being a better friend to those where I make a difference, being more loyal to my employer considering all she's done for me, helping my guardian M out with the chores around his installations, and making money again so I can afford the things I need and want. I hate signing off for the weekend with those thoughts in mind, but it seems like the only thing I can do right now.


Delayed post from Thursday, June 24, 2010, owing to late chat and lag.

This morning I woke up to another morning of lag fighting in Second Life. The situation at Mistress W's place seemed as bad as ever. At least I got to meet and chat some with Miss t and Mistress W herself. My guardian M and me had done a little brainstorming about what could be done about the lag issues, and I handed over a notecard with suggestions to Mistress W.

Mistress W and Miss t explained some about how the scripts in pose balls and attachments affected the lag and for the first time ever I think I understood some of it, after a primer my guardian M had made before. Pretty soon I was left behind with internal references again though so things were back to normal.

My guardian M made a short guest appearance but in the middle of it I crashed, and when I managed to get back more than 10 minutes later, everyone was gone. So I got back up on my dance pole and headed for real-life work.

When I returned to Second Life this afternoon, it took me some 15 minutes just to ungear enough to be able to teleport away from Mistress W's place. I managed to bump into Sir R at his place, but he was busy with one of his slaves, so I just greeted him quickly.

I then got hold of my new friend n, and we had a long chat at M's gallery about BDSM, relationships, what kind of submissive one should really be, Gorean BDSM and electro-shocks. She showed me her new home, where she's kept by her Mistress and her Mistress' Master. Obviously she wasn't quite sure about what rights she had to show the place, because when her Master showed up, she hurried us both away from there. After a few minutes more of chat, she needed to go to bed since it was very late in her time zone.

I then went back to Mistress W's place and spent some time chatting with my friend m and one of her friends there. After they had left for real-life issues, I went to my first ever Second Life concert, performed by Suzan Littlething, a girl I met on Twitter. It was really great, but there were so few spectators there that I actually managed to persuade M to join us, and he seemed to enjoy it too.

After the concert, M had to leave, but I was invited to Suzan's home, which was a very nice place, with much blending into nature and including a big tree house. We talked about a lot of different things, and she was very nice, so I hope I'll see her again soon, and have the opportunity to go to more of her concerts. Perhaps I'll try to drag along a few more of my friends then.

After Suzan and I parted, I went back to Mistress W's place, where I ran into someone who said he was a friend of my friend c. We chatted a little while I geared up to spend another night on the dance poles. He seemed to enjoy it at least some, so I felt fulfilled when I finally needed to go away from keyboard to fix my blogs and get some sleep.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Lag and job

When I entered Second Life this morning I found myself in lag hell at Mistress W's place. It seemed to be worse than ever. But at least I caught Mistress W for a hug and some chat about the lag problem. Miss T also showed up, and a girl who was trapped in a glass cage belonging to Mistress W. Mistress W decided to leash her just to keep her out of more trouble...

The lag kept me so long, before I had managed to set myself up to continue dancing on Mistress W's dance poles, that I was late for my real-life job. But at least it gave me a chance to actually meet my guardian M online, as he showed up to take care of his slave that he had left at Mistress W's place. Mistress W's nice maid also showed up, but by then I was so late I barely had time to say hi to her before I had to rush off to real life.

When I returned to Second Life this evening, I had a rather sporadic chat with my friend c, who wasn't feeling very well. Since I was all alone and the lag still stopped me from doing anything useful, I decided to put in a couple of hours at my job instead. I ran into my closest boss there and found out she had been promoted from manager to CEO. I was very happy for her sake, because she's really nice and deserved that. It was also heart-warming when she hugged me and told me I had been missed, since I haven't been there much lately.

I took the chance to check around on the continued progress at my job, after the reconstruction, and discovered among other things that I'm on pictures tied up at most of the dungeons there, after the photo shoot I helped out with a while back. I also found two brand new dungeons and an extra big aquarium tank with a full mermaid shop in it. I also chatted some with a visitor who seemed really heart-broken over a break with someone recently.

When I returned to Mistress W's place to let my avatar keep dancing there, the lag was still as bad. Before leaving Second Life my friend m came online, so I got a hug from her and a few words of chat before signing off.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Sim crashing and chatting

This morning I woke up late and entered Second Life about in time to be swept away by another sim crash in the sim where Mistress W has her place, most probably owing to the lag. When I finally managed to come back I had been stripped of every attachment I have, including the discrete OpenCollar ring I always wear locked to manage my outfits, and the lag caused it to take the most of the morning to get in gear again. I just had time to say hello to Mistress W's maid as I was done and had to rush to real-life work delayed.

This evening I was late to enter Second Life too, but at least I got a chance to really talk to my friend c for the first time in a few days. She's really having a hard time now and even if I try to do my best to support and cheer her up, I feel I'm not much good for it. I also met m briefly while c and I danced side by side on the dance poles at Mistress W's place, trying to help and fight the lag issues, and later m joined us on the poles. Finally I had to leave my avatar, c and m to go to real-life sleep.

Camping, shopping and loving

Delayed post from Monday, June 21, 2010, owing to late love.

This morning I entered Second Life at Mistress W's place, where I had left my avatar dancing for the night, to help her with her lag problems. Miss t and one of her friends were there when I came, but I was called on to go to Sir R's place by my friends P and c almost immediately.

The lag was so bad I had to get out of all the bondage gear I wore while dancing to be able to teleport at all, and decided to dress casually while at it. When I finally got to Sir R's place I found c in a Wonder Woman outfit, Sir N in a Spider man outfit, P in something that could have made her the maiden in distress, and one of the house Masters at Sir R's place. We joked around some and meanwhile our friend s tried to get on repeatedly but just kept crashing before really getting there.

When we split up, c and I went back to Mistress W's place. Miss T was still there, and just as I had geared up to join c on the dance poles, Mistress W herself showed up. She was happy for people like c and me helping her out with her lag problems. She even set about building tip jars for those dancing in case any visitors would think they were worth it.

A few more visitors showed up while I was dancing, including a boy new to Second Life and BDSM there, who Mistress W took good care of teaching him the ropes some. Mistress W's maid and my friend m also showed up, so I got some hugs before I needed to leave my avatar dancing to go for real-life work.

When I entered Second Life again in the evening, I had a long message session with my friend P. A little bit later I met her, s and z at Sir R's place. P, z and I went shopping for some things she needed for being a slave at Sir R's place. I was glad I at least could help some with finding some of the things.

When we were done, z still had some time before she was supposed to be back at Sir R's place, so I "borrowed" her and spent the end of my evening chatting, dancing and cuddling with her. Having her free and to myself for this probably one and only time was just so lovely. She's so immensely sweet and I really care so much for her.

When z and I finally had to split because of real-life needs, I went back to Mistress W's place and left my avatar dancing on the poles there, in shackles, harness gag, obedience belt with plugs and tight breast bondage, hoping to lure any visitors to stay a few minutes extra gawking at me and thereby help fighting the lag issues at Mistress W's place.