Discrepancies

I started out this morning with a quick visit to Sir R's place as usual. It's seldom much visitors there at that time of day any longer, but I at least paid my respects to a new house Mistress I hadn't seen there before. After that I tagged onto my friend c for some shopping since I had a bit of money to spend and I thought I'd benefit from her good taste in clothes. Unfortunately her Master is very much into latex, which is really neither her nor my main interest in clothes, but even if the shopping tour focused on that it's still fun to look around some at least.

me in my new Hugo Designs latex outfit Luna at my job


I actually ended up with 3 new latex outfits. One was a next to freebie that I doubt I'll ever wear more than once, one was quite OK, and the third was a creation from the only latex designer I found that I really like and which I fell in love with immediately. I know c already has that very outfit, so I was a little bit hesitant about buying it, but she said it was OK with her, so I did.

me in my new Hugo Designs latex outfit Luna at my job


I really like that latex designer, with a few exceptions. Most of their latex outfits come with such skimpy panties it's embarrassing to me, unless I actually want to dress up like a sex object. In reality those panties would probably end up wedged between my labia as soon as I moved. Many outfits also come with only round patches covering the nipples which may be good for an exotic dancer, while I prefer something more like a bra. The outfit I bought now had both nicely covering panties and a nice chest piece, with the daring but not overly indecent cutouts which I love in many clothes.

me partly stripped and bound in my new Hugo Designs latex outfit Luna at my job


I also talked some with c about some problems I've had lately. She basically told me I was thinking and worrying too much about things and that I should go for what I enjoyed instead of hesitating so much, and especially in the matter at hand. After the shopping and talk, c took me to her favorite club and we danced away an hour or so. I never really got into the mood though, probably having too many other things on my mind, so I excused myself and teleported around a short while looking for some distraction before I gave up and logged off.

I know I'm probably a real pain in the ass to my friends sometimes with my uncertainty, thinking and worrying. Even more so with the only month-old turmoil I created when Mistress W and I broke up and which I'm now trying to put behind me, or at least not keep talking so much about, since I think most of my friends are more than a little bit tired from my whining about it. My basic problem is probably still that Second Life is so real to me. Even if I think all of my friends recognize that there are live humans with characters and feelings behind the avatars they interact with, I think few immerses quite the way I do.

I keep repeating myself with that I'm very much the same in Second Life and in real life but there still are some discrepancies which I'm aware of.
1. Some of the inhibitions imposed on me by real-life society are shed in Second Life, so I act more outgoing, spontaneously and with less thought here.
2. Since Second Life functions much as a complement to my real-life sex-life, I am more focused on and open about sex here.
3. I have no real purpose or mission in Second Life, which often makes me feel uncertain about my qualities here.
4. In real-life I'm a leader both in my job and social life while I prefer to let others lead here.
5. In real-life I'm probably 99% straight while I enjoy intimacy with other women quite a lot here.
6. In real-life I've been very cautious with giving up control in BDSM because of self-preservation instincts while I've been far more easy-going about it here.
7. In real-life, self-preservation instincts prohibits a few sexual or BDSM practices that I'm more open for trying here.

Still, when it comes to values, emotions, preferences (save for the intimacy with women), limits and responses, I believe they are much the same in real-life and Second Life. In both places my worries and concerns are far more with how my actions affect others than with how they impact on me. I think that is much of me being a submissive, to put the needs and comfort of others before my own, not because I'm forced to do it but because it feels right and natural to me. Still, I also should not and will try not to pester my friends so much with those worries and concerns, but handle them more on my own.

In the evening I found none of my friends online or available, so I went to my job as greeter and guide. I spent a few hours there, meeting and chatting with some nice visitors. I also met the manager who once introduced me and had a very nice chat with her between visitors.