Reconciliation

This morning I met Mistress W again and Miss t was with her in an amazing outfit with udders bigger than I am. It was another first face-to-face meeting after the turmoil, but Miss t was kind to me and gave me a hug before she had to leave. I'm really glad for that, because she is one of those I did the most wrong despite I really like her a lot.

After Miss t left, Mistress W and I had a long talk about almost everything but much about the things around when I left her. I thought I had started to get over it but I used up more than a half roll of toilet paper and almost short-circuited my keyboard with my tears while we talked. I'm very happy she says she wants me as her friend but the more I learn about her and her actions the more my respect for and trust in her grows back, and the more it hurts knowing what I lost. Even if she can forgive me I know the basic thing separating us will remain and I hope for her sake it will always do. Not to save her from me but because to her it's a good thing I think she really deserves for her happiness.

I didn't discover until I started writing this blog and needed to check a few tings in my chat-log that I missed my friend c when she passed by while I talked with Mistress W. It just seems impossible for me to handle more than one thing at a time. I already hurt c much too much but had a vague hope she sometime might forgive me. But me ignoring her like that even if it wasn't intentional probably killed the last of that hope. She is no doubt the one of my friends that I will miss the most having lost because of my stupidity.

I spent most of the evening with my friend P and c was actually there part of the time to even if she didn't pay me much attention. It hurt some but I'm at least glad she didn't leave when I came there and I understand she has her reasons for not wanting much or anything to do with me. I was afraid to bother her but still tried to get her into the conversation but without much success. P and I mostly just chatted lightly and joked around. Her Master D had left her nude and hogtied on a very fluffy white fur rug and I was sincerely tempted to join her on it in self-bondage for the sensuous feeling of the fur against my breasts, belly, pubes and thighs. Finally I gave in to the temptation and spent my last half hour online nude and hogtied like her on that rug. It was so wonderfully relaxing just laying there small-talking with her.

To finish on another happy note I discovered today I am a real genius sometimes. I started out this weekend trying to tweak my Xcite! to better match my RL sexual preferences and responses. While looking around their website for a tool doing it I found a script for sale that should be customizable to make own things interact with Xcite!. I've spent time trying to make it work for my breast bondage attachments so they can be played with and make me respond, and tonight I think I finally managed even if it's far from perfect. P helped me test them and discover some errors since it seems to work quite differently with the owner and any other user but now they seem to work completely. I owe my friend p a big hug and thank for her inspiring me to dare even trying, thanks to her own relentless work with making scripts work for things she builds despite she keeps saying she's no good at it.